In the last post we identified different ways we talk ourselves out of our goals when we hit our resistance to personal growth. Is Resistance to Personal Change Stopping You From Achieving Your Goals?
I want to add one more way that you might talk yourself out of your goal.
I Am in a Rut
I know I should be doing this, or that but I’m not and that is just how things are. When the person in a rut runs into some sort of obstacle, gets frightened or overwhelmed, he just quits. He doesn’t blame anyone else, he just quits. To avoid feeling bad about himself he distracts himself with mindless activities.
Don’t lower your standards. Instead raise them a little and take baby steps to move forward. Little by little you can do it.
5 Steps to Continue to Move Forward When You Encounter Resistance
1. Identify your resistance as it is happening.
You have probably recognized your preferred method of resistance as you read through the examples in the last two posts. Then note how you feel when your resistance is active. For example, I feel reluctant to move forward or begin to find reasons why I shouldn’t have to do this project. Resistance can show in in an automatic unthinking behavior. For example – even with a weight loss goal you find yourself going down the candy isle without even thinking. Or, you might feel pushed to behave in a certain way in a situation and uncomfortable if you can’t behave that way.
Carl has made a determination and is chanting to adopt a way of eating that will support a 50 pound weight loss. He eats out often. His parents trained him to clean his plate and not waste money. We know that restaurants today serve portions that are double what we need. Carl automatically acts on his habit of overeating in restaurants due to his training. As this habit does not support his weight loss goal, he needs to develop a new habit -to eat until he is comfortable, and then stop.
2. Make a Plan for Handling the Situation
Carl will have to create a plan for what he is going to do at the restaurant. He might remind himself to cut the plate in half and take one half home. He might ask the waitress to bring him half a plate and put the rest in a carry out box before she brings his meal to the table.
If he has a full plate, he will need to catch himself as he starts to automatically overeat. If he feels uncomfortable at leaving food on the plate, he knows he is facing his resistance and there is some belief he needs to identify and change. He must learn to recognize the thought that pushes him into overeating.
3. Develop a different way of talking to yourself
Carl will need to develop a different belief leading to different self-talk. He must identify the thought leading to automatic overeating. “I don’t want to waste money.” Then he needs to replace it with another such as,“When I take home half the meal I am not wasting it. I am increasing my food budget as I’ll have food tomorrow. Or, “The starving children abroad won’t be able to eat this anyway.”
4. Find a role model that exemplifies what you are trying to achieve
Carl needs to find a slim role model and watch what that person does in a restaurant.
5. Develop a habit interrupt.
One person who had a weight loss goal discovered he was sabotaging his weight loss by automatically eating 2 fig bars at 4:00 in the afternoon at his desk. He justified this by
saying he was hungry. By adding these 400 calories a day, he had started to gain weight.
He interrupted the habit by putting the bars across the room so he would have to go and get them, giving him time to think about what he was doing. He also laid in a lower
Address the Resistance and Keep Moving Forward
No matter what the goal or what your resistance looks like, you can apply these five steps to get through your resistance so you can move forward, do your human revolution and achieve your goal.
- Identify your preferred method of resistance
- Make a plan for handling the resistance when it comes up
- Develop a different way of talking to yourself.
- Find a role model that exemplifies what you are trying to achieve.
- Develop a habit interrupt.
Keep moving forward toward your goal.