Two practitioners, Beth and Barbara, were discussing getting goals. One commented that she had had experiences where she just knew she was going to get a goal and it happened. But now she had a major goal that she had been chanting about for several years, to publish the book she is writing. But that hasn’t come to pass. Then she said, “I feel that if I finish the book something bad is going to happen.”
Perhaps you have had a major goal and then find yourself not taking the steps needed to move forward. Or you stay at the same place year after year even though you are chanting about the goal and think you want it. You’ve had success with other goals, but not this one – this important one. What can be happening?
The Gohonzon is a Clear Mirror
In the Clear Mirror Guidance, Daisaku Ikeda says,
“ The Gohonzon is a clear mirror. It perfectly reveals our state of faith and projects this out into the universe. This demonstrates the principle of 3000 realms in a single moment of life.” My Dear Friends in America, p. 98
There is a second principle that tells us the same thing, oneness of self and our environment. What we project internally ends up manifesting in the outer world. Because of these two principles we know that there must be something inside of us that is blocking this particular goal.
Half Conscious Reservations
Are you having fleeting thoughts that you cannot see clearly, or do you feel uneasy about taking steps towards your goal? These may be the indicators of reservations which are only half conscious.
Examples of Reservations About a Goal
Let’s look at three examples of reservations.
Example One: A potential author couldn’t seem to finish writing her book. She would find other things to do, use other activities in her life as rationalizations. But the net result was that she was not moving forward with the book. When asked about her reservations she said, “I stood out in school as a teenager and then discovered I couldn’t be cool if I stood out. I made the decision never to stand out again.” Now she feels something bad will happen if she finishes the book.
Example Two: A woman wanted to earn $30,000 a month. But she could never earn more than $5000. She was very perplexed by this. The person talking with her asked her about her reservations. She responded , “My husband is very controlling and is in charge of our finances. If I earned more than he does, he couldn’t handle it. It would destroy our marriage.”
Example Three: A young woman was chanting to find her direction in life. She claimed she wasn’t getting any ideas, any response from the universe. But when asked, she said that an idea had come to her, that she should take a certain class at the local community college. Right away she dismissed the idea out of hand, because she wasn’t sure she would like it. So she didn’t sign up. Then she was asked how she would know if she liked it unless she tried it. When faced with the idea of actually signing up for the class, her fears came to the surface. She was terrified with the idea of moving forward.
What’s happening in these three examples?
In the first example the writer had made a decision not to stand out. Of course a book would go counter to that decision. Now that decision was no longer serving her but she still holds on to the limiting idea that she can’t stand out even though she has long passed being a teenager and is a highly competent adult.
In example two, the woman was faced with what her ambitions would do to her marriage. She was going to have to explore which was more important to her, her ambitions or her marriage.
She was faced with looking at the impact her goal would have on her relationship.
In example three, the young woman was refusing to face her fears by dismissing the idea given to her by the universe out of hand. We have to look at our fears and get the support we need to
overcome them, when we set a big goal.
How to Handle Reservations
The first step is to capture the thoughts that flit by, and notice what you are thinking when you become uneasy. These are the thoughts you need to bring into awareness. You might do a writing exercise with the question what will happen if I move forward towards my goal? At some level you know what you are afraid of.
Limiting beliefs are there to protect us. We all have limiting beliefs we learned from other people. What would your family have said about this big goal? What have you
learned by watching adults dealing with this issue when you were young? Many of our limiting beliefs have been taught to us through watching how the adults in our lives behaved around money, ambition etc. . We adopted these beliefs as children before we learned to think critically. Write down what you’ve learned about.
We fear rejection. If I got this goal would I face rejection from the people I care about? When the reservation is there because of how your goal might impact a relationship, then look at it carefully. Evaluating the situation will help you make a decision about how to move forward. This woman decided her marriage was more important than the goal, so she reduced the amount she wanted to make. She could have decided she didn’t want arelationship that would limit what she could do. But she needed to look at the issue. As long as we avoid looking at these issues, the more our reservations will keep us in place.
When we are dealing with fears, we might need to get support to help us over the hump.
In the case of the young woman who was terrified about signing up for a class, she got support from her husband who actually took her to register. That was what she needed.
She’s on her way.
Any goal implies change and most of us fear change. We are afraid we might be worse off. So try asking yourself. What if I got this goal? How would my life change?
Today we looked at why we might not be moving forward with a major goal. We examined three examples – one where there was a limiting belief, the second where the goal would impact a relationship, and third where the direction was dismissed due to fears.
Then we discussed how we might handle some of these instances through writing exercises Answer the following questions;
If I got the goal would I face rejection from the people I know?
What if I got the goal? How would my life change?
How will my goal impact my relationships?
What did I learn as a child about this topic. For example if I want to double my income, was I taught that I wouldn’t know who my friends are if I had money.
What are my fears around moving forward towards this goal?
Where can I find support ?
What was I taught about my own ability to take on a goal like this?
How Can I change My Limited Thinking? https://wp.me/p3V1J9-10s
5 Things to Consider if Not Getting Results from Chanting https://wp.me/p3V1J9-Yz
7 Ways We Block Ourselves When Chanting for a Goal https://wp.me/p3V1J9-Ud
As always I’m interested to hear from you, ideas for topics or anything else you’d like to