Is It Possible to be Too Attached to a Goal?

Is It Possible to be Too Attached to a Goal?

Recently, I have had questions or comments from practitioners who have badly wanted and chanted for a relationship goal, which has not happened. In this vlog I want to examine the different areas for self-reflection, if a goal remains out of reach.

Evaluating Your Goal

When you set a goal you want to ask yourself.  Is this something I would love?  If it makes you feel alive and expansive then it is a good goal for you.  Feeling expansive means you have aligned with the natural desire of the universe to expand with and through you. But if it makes you feel anxious or feel contracted, it’s probably not right for you.

Setting Your Goal

When you set a goal are you being specific? Make your goal as specific as possible. Let’s say you want a job.  What kind of job would allow you to be excited to go to work in the morning?  What kind of working conditions do you want?  How much do you want to be paid?  And by when do you need to have this job?

Are You Trying to Force a Goal Through?

Then you want to make a decision, a determination that you are going to achieve this no matter what. Does it mean that you are trying to force it to happen in a certain way?  If you are doing this, you may well be getting in the way of the universe which might have an entirely different path to reach your goal.  Then you would be blocking the very thing you want.

It’s your responsibility to set the goal.  It is the responsibility of the universe to work out how to get there.  Just set your intention and then relax and let the universe do its work.

Will Your Goal Bring You Happiness?

if we look at the world around us, we can see that it is the nature of life, the Mystic Law, to grow.  Everything has the pull towards becoming, towards expansion.  I know we all recognize it in our own lives. We have to learn to trust that we are connected with the infinite mind that created the cosmos. It is for you and your happiness.

If your goal isn’t going to bring you happiness, it may not come about.

The person who told me this story said it was true. I heard a story once that there were three people, new to the practice, who decided to rob a bank.  They chanted that the robbery would be successful.  On the day it was due to take place, they had difficulty getting to the bank.  They kept hitting red lights and traffic.  When they arrived at the bank, the whole area was blanketed by police.  Someone else had tried to rob the bank.  Needless to say, they returned home without doing anything, and thanked their lucky stars they hadn’t gotten there when they had expected. They had been protected from themselves.

If you have been chanting to connect with a certain person and it isn’t coming about, it could be that this particular relationship might not bring you happiness.  Set the goal that the relationship that is coming will be for the highest good for you and the other person and trust the universe.

Are You Chanting with an Open Hand?

What does chanting with an open hand mean? Chanting with an open hand means that you have an intention and once you made a determination and communicate it to the universe, you relax and say, “This or something better.”  Relaxation is important, because if you are full of anxiety and desperation, you won’t be able to hear the answers you are looking for. You will hear them when you keep your mind positive and relaxed.

Consider this. Anxiety and desperation might push away the very relationship you are looking for.

Do I need to Make Changes for this Goal to Come About?

Remember chanting changes us, not the other person.  When we change, then the whole situation can shift.  But if we stay the same then so does the situation.  Let’s say you are chanting for a relationship with a certain person, but you have not treated them well in the past and they have withdrawn from you.  Just chanting for that relationship will probably not produce results.  You would need to chant to understand what changes you need to make, so that the relationship can be resumed on a different basis.

Do I Have Reservations About This Goal?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        If you have a goal and it’s not showing up, you want to ask yourself the following questions.

Do I have subtle reservations about this goal? Those are projected to the universe along with your goal.  We get back what we are projecting.  If a goal is not happening, it is not because there is something wrong with the practice. The universe is not withholding your goal from you.

Our results come from within us to manifest in the outside world.  So, we must look within to see what we are projecting. If you have reservations, these need to be resolved before your goal can manifest.

Ask yourself, am I chanting for this goal because someone else wants it, like my mother, my family, or a boy or girlfriend?  Am I chanting for it because it is expected of someone at my age? Do I have any reservations for other reasons? For example, is my intuition telling me this is not right?

Do I secretly believe this goal is not possible because of one circumstance or another?  Do I think I am not attractive, too old, or any other reason that might prevent me from getting this goal?

If so, remember that you are connected to the very life force that created the cosmos and you.  It will have the answer to how to overcome any condition or circumstance. But you must ask the question and listen for the answer.

It’s vital to remember the principle of oneness of self and the environment.  It’s easy to do this when things are going well, much more difficult when you aren’t producing the results wanted.

Am I Dealing with Karma?

Ask the Gohonzon, “Is there some way that I need to grow before this goal is possible?  Is there some karma that must be addressed. “ See these videos in YouTube. Difficult Family Karma? What to Do. or “Do You Know How to Lessen Karmic Retribution?”

Am I Doing the Three Ways of Practice?

An experienced practitioner said to me once.  “I have found that if people are not getting results with the practice, they are usually not doing the three ways of practice.  So, ask yourself.  Am I going to meetings?  Am I practicing twice daily?  Am I working to support the practice of others and introducing others to the practice?  Am I studying?

Do I Have Negative Feelings Towards Other Members?

Ikeda has said over and over, that if we are speaking badly of other people in the organization, holding resentments, being jealous or hating, or helping to create conflict, that we are destroying our own fortune. If something like this is going on, get guidance and work out anything of this nature.

Do I Have Doubts?

These need to be resolved because you are projecting those along with your goal to the universe.  Study and talk to other experienced practitioners to resolve any doubts you might have.


Today we examined issues for self-reflection when a goal has not manifested.

  1. Evaluate your goal. Does it make you feel excited and happy or anxious and contracted?
  2. Are you being specific about what you want?
  3. Are you trying to force through a goal?
  4. Are you chanting with an open hand?
  5. Do you have reservations about this goal?
  6. Are you resisting or ignoring personal changes you need to make?
  7. Do you have doubts?
  8. Do you have negative feelings towards other members?
  9. Are you dealing with karma?
  10. Are you doing the three ways of practice?
  11. Are you anxious and desperate about this goal?

URl’s you might like

  1. 7 Ways We Block Ourselves in Chanting for a Goal
  2. 8 Warning Signs You Are Manifesting What You Don’t want
  3. Can I change someone Else by Chanting?
  4.  Script Download: Is It Possible to be Too Attached to a Goal ? 1


I’m always interested in hearing what you would like to hear about.  So let me know ideas for topics or questions that may have come up for you.  Keep the comments coming and I’ll see you in two weeks.


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  • Sid says:

    Suppose there are multiple equally important goals that I am chanting for how does the Gohonzon know which one must be fulfilled. Often times in “Fight or Flight mode” one wants to get out from current circumstances and this motivates one to write multiple goals.

    • Margaret Blaine says:

      I’m assuming your goals are not conflicting, so why not have multiple goals? You can have as many as you think you can handle.

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